It doesn't go as far to say we are rivals.
It may just stem from our differing views on what is acceptable behavior. In an apartment. As neighbors.
Maybe it's my love of late-night musicals or his need to build an arc at four a.m. The ark theory may be replaced by moving furniture or perhaps bowling.
Or my penchant for midday debate podcasts and his incessant need to meditate during Matlock.
Perhaps its the proximity of living quarters that is multi-unit dwellings that makes us so imposed upon by one another?
I understand that some people just can't focus when they hear talking or dishes being washed or breathing in the apartment below them. Who am I to judge?
So to say shit hit the fan is a fair assessment.
My deep appreciation for communal living and the need to coexist with my fellow brethren just reached a brick wall. And my neighbors disgruntled face.
That's right, I punched his face with merciless vernacular.
Sure words were thrown. Mostly feigned polite banter with undertones of "I wish you would go crawl back into the hole you came from," but banter none the less.
Not sure what's threatening about a middle-aged man who claims to have lived in L.A. for 20 years mid-rant. While in his pjs.
Things just got real. I waited for him to flash a Westside gang symbol, but was sorely disappointed.
It might have been interesting to hear some actual name calling, instead of a scolding that is similar to how a mother calms her child during church. Except I'm way to old to be his mom.
But Darryl, if I may call you that since I can't remember your name and past the point of not being awkward to ask again, our love of Edward R. Murrow just isn't enough.
And even though when you yelled at me the first week I moved in and entertained guests... with scrabble... on New Year's Eve, I felt one writer to another may try to cross divides and coexist on a humane level.
But there reaches a point when two people may just have to agree to disagree.
I disagree that you actually own "great" earplugs if a quiet whisper wakes you from your sleep. And yes I bet you agree that its terribly exciting I am moving out. This week. Forever.
Oh and I know it's petty, but I hope a bunch of novice musicians in a jam band move-in to replace us.
Who are heavy smokers and have a delight for urinating outside.
And also steal your New Yorkers.
Huzzah.
