Sunday, December 5, 2010

Flying Naked, the Only Way to Travel

There will not be any traveling by aeroplane for me this holiday season thanks to body searches that rival an annual exam from a physician or a violating scanner that depicts the naked human body to the delight of the hidden man behind a curtain. The future is here and so is x-ray vision, and the ability for flunkies in cush security jobs to look at hot chicks naked.

"The controversial scanner is capable of peering through clothes to create three-dimensional images of passengers to reveal any concealed weapons or explosives. The decision follows 'guidelines proposed by a working group' looking into security measures and the evaluation and confirmation by an independent body that the scanners would have 'no impact on passenger health,' France's civil aviation authority said." NPR posted this quote as part of the "To The Point" discussion on airport security.

The hilarity of the scanner is that it cannot detect items that are hidden under more than 1/10 of an inch of skin, as explained by Kate Hanni, the founder of FlyersRights.org. This means anything hidden under a roll of fat, a breast or perhaps an annal cavity will not be seen by the naked image scanners. Not sure if anyone else sees the fatal flaw in this expensive device.

Hanni countered that screen shots of the naked photos had all ready been found in Florida and there are sure to be more examples of such behavior that will be squashed, at least from the media. Have these security workers been checked for Megan's Law, she furthered, to protect similar treatment to children that are sent through the scanners. Where will the violations stop?

About 315 scanners are currently in use at 65 US airports, according to the TSA, and the machines or body pat-downs are "the best technology we have today" to screen individuals, said John Pistole, administrator of the TSA.

"A few folks are noticing that ex-Homeland Security boss Michael Chertoff, who's been quite busy defending the naked scanners, happens to be making a ton of money from one of the main ones, Rapiscan, made by OSI, a client of Chertoff's consulting firm..." a tidbit of clarifying information from Techdirt.

Not a bad deal for Chertoff considering that its taxpayer money that funds such necessary equipment.

According to Imformationliberation.com these machines may not be so harmless as supporters claim:

"The TSA, of course, will tell you that these machines can't possibly contribute to cancer. But they said the same thing about mammograms, and we now know that mammograms are so harmful to women's health that they actually harm ten women for everyone one woman they help. So I'm not exactly taking the U.S. government at its word that naked body scanner radiation is 'harmless.'"

The intensive security measures are also a publicized reaction by the authorities to several thwarted attacks, including an attempt in December last year by a Nigerian man to detonate explosives hidden in his underwear on a flight that was about to land in Detroit. No one mentions that he merely lit his pants on fire and a passenger, not a security guard, stopped his "attack."

The current measures are stopping effective devices from getting on planes. Let the TSA worry about bomb attempts in luggage, not about the sanitary panty-liner. That's right, genital search because you may be menstruating. How's that for a bad flight experience?

At this point TSA is getting such a bad rap due to its inability to decipher between real threats and the desire to appear unbiased by painstakingly searching all suspicious activity. It's for our safety, not just a mere horse and pony show, honestly.

Anyone can be a terrorist, folks. Anyone. This means grandma in her wool cardigan, tubby guy in his Hawaiian shirt and don't forget Rashid in his turban. Or at least that's what they would love you to believe in a feigned attempt to eliminate blatant racial profiling. Good luck.

Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas was sent through the scanner at LAX and reality TV personality Kim Kardashian aslo had a close encounter. Obviously the Taliban is recruiting the rich and famous of Hollywood in order to blow up planes.

Think about the well-publicized encounter of the 52-year-old woman in a wheelchair, that's right wheelchair, who showed up in a trench coat and her undergarments to avoid an "violating" pat-down. Due to the metal chair her usual experience involves such thorough searches like the one two weeks prior to her revealing incident that led her to show up in her skivvies.

She still endured an hour-long search and missed her flight after refusing to enter the metal detector. I'm sure everyone felt a little safer that day from the woman in a wheelchair. Or perhaps a little more wary of the TSA who will stop at nothing to exert its power to the fullest.

Want to keep your dignity? Travel by train. Want safety? Stay home.

This is hysteria at its finest. The Red Scare that's putting more money in politicians' pockets. If we aren't distracted from immigrants taking our jobs or the fact that bankers are in cahoots with our government, then why not scare us all straight before sailing through the clouds?

So this Peach will not get to go home to see Grandma, even despite her recent heart surgery. Cue the violins. Despite my desire to reconnect during the holidays, I will not subject myself to inflated prices and destroying my dignity in order for some guards to get a kick.

My luck, I would put up a stink at LAX shouting about my rights and the indecency of the whole ordeal, and get stuck in the hot tank. Then get put on a few watch lists.

In the meantime, I am looking for the underwear that displays the 4th Amendment when inside the scanners and lead plated pasties. Nice try TSA goons.